It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
