Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
PANTIES FOUND
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