Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just pee around me
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
