you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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