Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
