i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She even gives head with a lisp.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
