Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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