Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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