I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
