I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
