I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it because I queefed?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
