so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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