he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
