So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We were destined to go to rehab together
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
So much Jack, so little girl.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
