This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
