school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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