Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
