he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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