So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
