Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
