Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
