I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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