I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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