my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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