he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
