Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
