THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's shark week go big or go home
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
