when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
