We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
