I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
