Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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