He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
