I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
