So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My liver just had a heart attack.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
