i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
