I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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