I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
