we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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