Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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