can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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