Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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