The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
