He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
