Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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