god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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