Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
