Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
