my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
