Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
