they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
