MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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