ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
