This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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